Chemo - Round 2

Ding Ding! Fighters come out of your corners and fight clean.

Had Round 2 of Chemo on Friday, and it went extremely well! No allergic reaction this time, thank goodness. I only had the Taxol infusion, the Avastin is every other week. I was sitting near a lady who just started Taxol too, and she had a very bad reaction, so bad that they are admitting her and giving her the Taxol while in the hospital as opposed to in the clinic. So things could always be worse...

Feeling fine so far.

Went for a wig fitting too. Tried on some funky styles and colors, and narrowed it down to 2. So depending on whether I lose a lot of hair, I may have a wig, which I must admit is appealing...no fuss no muss and it always looks the same! :) I was never a good hairstylist with my hair, it was always a pain in the ass for me. Always easier to put it up in a ponytail.

Found a new friend. His name is Mr. Bo Jangles and he is my little mouse companion.

He'll be accompanying me on my treatments. Isn't he too cute? He smells like chamomile tea and you can heat him up in the microwave. Seems kinda cruel to me, so he won't be put in there.

As soon as Thom and I sat down, I had a volunteer offering food and food and more food. She gave us so much food, it was piled up on the table next to me. She threw like 3 bags of chips and popcorn at Thom, even after he said he was good! And then another volunteer would just randomly come by and leave a container of chicken salad or fruit salad. It's hilarious. Everyone is SO nice there. Thom told me that all the food is donated, and it's a lot of food. Gives you hope that there are still nice, caring people in the world.

Went to my parent's after treatment, had an awesome BBQ. Speaking of my parents...they have this dog, Skippy, I forget what kind of dog he is, a Shit-zu? Yes, I purposely misspelled that, because he's a little shit. From the day he came to my parents, he's been eating human food, he won't touch dog food...can't say I blame him...but he's a dog. We are eating BBQ rib eye and this little dog gets a fillet Mignon, asparagus, mashed potatoes and a piece of garlic bread. I almost fell off my chair. Are you kidding me?! LOL

Then we went to Dairy Queen...mmmm. Love their soft-serve twist with Jimmies. I can definitely get used to this ritual! :)

All the way home, Thom and I were jamming to tunes on the highway, dancing, playing air guitar, drums, singing (or trying to anyways!)...the people all around us must've thought we were nuts, and you know what? We are, and I love every minute of it!

Oh, here's a picture of me with my IV in:


You can see part of the table filled with food. So, my friends, until next time, peace out! My next treatment is 5/29/09.

There are some ladies that work with Thom that are doing the Susan B. Komen 3-day walk for cancer. Thom told them I would plug them here, so please donate if you have the means, I know times are tough right now. Save Second Base! Go B-Cups!

www.the3day.org/goto/Base2

http://www.b-cupswereworthit.com/

Chemo Day

Today was my first dose of chemo. Had to be at Dana-Farber by 11:30am to get an IV put in and blood taken. Then we had to wait for the doctor, he was running an hour late.

Met with the doctor and he had the results of the last CT scan. My liver is clean! No tumors in the liver. He did notice some fatty deposits in the liver which he said was pretty common and those deposits can sometimes raise the liver enzymes. But even though my liver was clean, he wanted to still start the chemo. I agreed.

After meeting with him, I was sent up to the "chemo suite". Hmm, was there champagne waiting? A breathtaking view? Umm, not really. I did have a view, of all the lovely cement, glass and metal buildings, and if I looked far enough toward the horizon, tilted my head and squinted, I could catch a glimpse of something green...trees perhaps? One can't be sure.

Met with my nurse, Jade, and she seems like a cool chick. Thom and I were discussing how amazing it is that there are so many nice people who work at Dana-Farber. With everything they see on a daily basis, they still have a wonderful sense of humor...which I appreciate, and enjoy! It makes the stay just a little bit easier.

Got some pre-treatments of Benadryl and Zantac. Man, the benadryl gave me some wicked bad "jimmy" legs, it felt like my legs were on fire and there were worms crawling under my skin. Those took about 20 minutes each to infuse. Then we started with the Avastin, which also took about 20 minutes. That went fine. When that was complete, we started on the Taxol, which was an hour infusion. 10 minutes into it, I felt very flush in my neck and face. I asked Thom if I looked red and he said no. Then the injection site started to burn and then immediately following that, my chest started getting tight and felt like it was on fire. I beeped the nurse and 5 of them and Dr. Silver were at my side in seconds. They stopped the infusion and gave me some more Benadryl and more steroids. Waited for those to finish and then we waited about 15 minutes before starting the infusion again. This time, they slowed down the drip and I tolerated that much better. When Jade noticed I was doing fine, she upped the speed back to normal and I was fine after that. Next week, we're going to start the infusion slow and work our way back up to normal speed.

What a weird sensation that was. My chest was broken out into a rash and the tips of my ears were hot as were my neck and face. Never had an allergic reaction before. But they've seen this so much, they knew exactly what to do. I was safe.

An amazing thing happened today too. While we were waiting for the doctor, there was a lady who was alone sitting across from us who obviously was having chemo and she had her headphones on. I noticed that she was looking over at Thom and me a bit but didn't think anything of it (we are insane, so we get looked at alot!). Towards the end of my infusion, I saw her walk by on her way out. She stopped and came back to us and told us that she's seen many couples at Dana but she has never seen a couple like us who have this extraordinary connection. She told us that she enjoyed sitting across from us and watching our interactions together. I was very touched that this stranger took time to come over and tell me what an amazing relationship Thom and I have. I've always known we do, but when someone else sees that, it makes me swell with pride and joy. I've said it before and I will always say it, I'm so lucky and blessed to have Thom.

Went to see my parents and they fed us. That will be a ritual probably from now on. Oh, and stopping at Dairy Queen on the way home!

And I found out that I will be having 4 week cycles of chemo: 3 weeks on, and 1 week off. I will see the doctor every 5 weeks (at the beginning of each new cycle). So at least now I know the routine. I wasn't sure of it last week. The doctor made it sound like it was a constant weekly thing. So I get a week off, which is nice.

I was feeling fine, just tired from all the Benadryl until 10pm tonight, then I got chills (no fever, just chills, which is weird) and muscle and joint aches. What the hell? I thought the hormone treatments were the things giving me that pain. Now I'm back to square one and not knowing what is causing the muscle and joint pain. The doctor said that I might have muscle pains, but that doesn't usually occur until 2-3 days AFTER the chemo. This is 6 hours post. We didn't leave the hospital until a little past 6, so it was a very long day for us.

Now I can't sleep. Sigh.

Next Chapter

I've waited to post this new entry, trying to get a grip on things.

Went to see the oncologist on Friday, he wanted blood taken to see where the cancer markers stood. The only one that came back was the CEA. It went from 17.1 in February to 37.4. He told me that although he's had patients who've had CEA's in the thousands, and mine wasn't an "emergency", he's concerned that the pattern was going in the wrong direction. He was also concerned about my liver enzymes. My ALT/SGPT was 82 and my AST/SGOT was 48, both high. He was concerned enough about the enzymes that he ordered an impromptu CT scan. Although I just had a CT scan in February and my liver was clean, he's concerned that the cancer has now spread to my liver. (My liver, my liver...) <---That was an old Beavis and Butthead reference.

I haven't gotten the results of the CT Scan yet, so I don't know if it's in my liver. I'm still feeling fine, which is a kick in the teeth. How can I have cancer? I feel fine, I look fine. I'm still feeling betrayed by my body. How could this have happened? I don't do drugs, I don't smoke, I don't drink. Granted, exercise to me is like the plague, but still. How could it turn on me like this?

In response to these new developments, he wants to start chemotherapy. I will be having my first dose of poison on Friday, May 15th. This will be a WEEKLY thing, every Friday, I will have to go into Dana-Farber and subject myself to chemo. He's starting me on a cocktail of Taxol/Avastin. Wish it was a good cocktail, like that peachy dreamy concoction from the Outback Steakhouse, the Wallaby Damned. Mmmm.

The infusion will last about 3-4 hours. Want to hear the kicker? The substance that the chemo is suspended in is Cremaphor...which many people are allergic to. So...I have to take steroids 12 hours prior and the day of the infusion. I mean really? It's not bad enough, but now I have to worry about an allergic reaction? Damn it all together.

Some of the lovely side effects? You know there are some. Let's see, where do I start? Tingling of the hands and feet, which gets worse with each subsequent dose. WONDERFUL! Do you know how frickin annoying it is when your hands and/or feet fall asleep and then they start to wake up? I'll be feeling that on a day-to-day basis. Muscle pain, high blood pressure, low platelet blood cell count, which may cause nose bleeds or other bleeding, slow wound healing, and hair loss. The only positive thing is that he hasn't seen nausea in his patients on this combo. At least I won't be puking in the toilet.

I have an appointment to have a wig fitting on May 22nd at the Friend's Boutique at Dana-Farber. I'll be cutting my hair...again. I'm not cutting it until after I actually get dosed with the stuff. Thom was cute, he told me that he'd shave his head when I lose my hair. Solidarity! I was also wondering what my head looks like...will it have weird bumps? It's going to be pale, so I'll have to tan it a bit so it doesn't blind people in the sunlight. :) I'll be getting a bunch of funky wigs, pinks and purples etc. Might as well have fun with it. I was also thinking of having it tattooed with Henna, I think that would be groovy. It's not permanent, so at least if I don't like it, it'll go away. I won't have to worry about having a "bad" hair day...I'll just have a "NO HAIR" day...I already have a baseball cap that reads "No Hair Day". I'll wear pretty scarves and hats and stuff...I can get a wide-brimmed hat, put on sunglasses and pretend I'm Jackie O hiding out from the paparazzi! "No, I'm sorry, I have no comment today."

Aside from all that, I have to admit, I'm pretty scared. There's no "cycle", like after 8 weeks, we'll reevaluate. It sounds to me like I'll be on this constantly. Does this mean I'll never have hair again? Will I be on chemo for the rest of my life? I don't know the answers. Dr. Silver said that we can take a break if we want to go on vacation and stuff, but other than that, it sounds like it'll be constant. He repeated that although I'll never be "cured", the best we can do is keep the cancer beaten into submission. He seems optimistic, which makes me feel better. I've also had the feeling that chemo was in my future. I'm almost glad, I didn't have much faith in the hormone therapy. It did it's job, but it's time to bring in the big guns. I'm ready, I think. I also have a feeling in my heart that this will work.

Funny, but I had a memory. When I was about 10-12, I always had the thought that I was going to "get" cancer. Just had that feeling. And I had the feeling that I would not have children. Why am I telling you these things? Seems like I knew the future before it happened. But as a kid, you just brush those things aside, didn't pay much attention to them. Maybe we are all a little clairvoyant. Or maybe, just me.

In other news, Captain Cinnamon Buns (LMAO, aka Captain Mayo) is moving again...to the other side of Dubai. His plane is still not working. Keep those postcards and cards coming Jim, they brighten my day like you'd never know. I miss you. Gasp! Did I just say that?! Delete, delete! ;)

I have some good news, my unemployment checks finally kicked in! Leave it to the good ole State of Massachusetts to save money where they can...instead of just sending out ONE big check, they sent me 8 INDIVIDUAL checks, all on the same day. Gotta love it. So at least we have a little more money coming in. That was a relief.

Still no job prospects. But now I'm thinking...do I want to go back to work? How do I handle this at an interview?
"Yes, I would like to work for you, but I can only work 4 days a week and I will be needing every Friday off because I have to go into Boston and get chemo." But please, hire me. I think this will put a damper on any job prospects I may have had. I'll have to reevaluate this at a later date.

I may be posting more often, like on a weekly basis to talk about how I'm doing on the chemo, etc. Sorry I've been negligent on my posting lately. But...it's my blog, and I will blog if I want to. Ha!

Saw the new Star Trek movie! Loved it!! The casting was perfect I thought. Well done.

Until next time, "Live long and prosper."