I can hardly believe that it's been 9 years since that day, a day that is still so sharp in my memory.
I was at work, randomizing groups of rats for a study that was running later that day. I was with my friend Shannon, in one of the supervisor's offices. He came in and told us that a plane had flown into the WTC. I remember thinking that it had to have been some kind of accident. Then, news of the second plane hitting the other tower spread. It now became horrifyingly real. What the hell was going on? And not too soon after that, we heard that another plane hit the pentagon. What was happening?? Now I was thinking, will this ever end? How many more planes? Well, one more plane, this time in a field. My heart was in my stomach. How many more?? OH MY GOD, what was happening?!?!? Work ceased. We were all just standing around, not knowing what to do, what to say. We didn't have any TV's, so we were all on the internet. Those pictures will never leave my memory. When I got home, I sat in front of the TV for the rest of the day. I was sick to my stomach. Why would anyone do this? HOW could anyone do this?
Those poor people, their poor families! God bless them, God bless those brave men and women who went to Ground Zero and helped out. These people are now suffering from all sorts of illnesses. Toxic fumes. Unimaginable sites. How can one recover from these? How can we all recover? We are all still recovering. It's just all so unfathomable. There are just no words.
And now they want to build a mosque near Ground Zero? Really? Do you have to build it RIGHT there? Isn't New York big enough for you to find somewhere else? Must you rub salt in a wound that will never close? I am all for religious freedom, but their location is in poor taste. They can build their temple, just SOMEWHERE else. It's disrespectful.
That is all.
To change to subject to something happier...Thom and I went to see the Captains from the Deadliest Catch, as you all know is my favorite show. It was Captain Sig and Jonathan and Andy Hillstrand. I couldn't believe that I was seeing them in person! I was so happy. I tried to take pictures, but the quality didn't come out too good, the battery died in the camera, and it was dark. I have a couple that I will post as soon as I download them from the camera to my computer.
They were so funny! They are so down to earth, just regular guys doing their jobs. That's why so many people like the show and them. They don't pull any punches, what you see is what you get. I wished I was closer, I wanted to reach out and shake their hands. Wanted to say Thank you. Thank you for helping me through chemo sessions. I watch the show when I'm at Dana-Farber. It's a comfort thing. I would love to meet them. They were so funny! At the end, they got 2 volunteers to put on the survival suits in under 4 minutes. That's a drill they have to do before they set out to sea.
I can cross that off my list of Things I want to Do. You know, my bucket list...but I'm not allowed to call it that! :)
What a great night! There are just so many fans out there, it's unbelievable.
Next up, in November, is meeting Buddy from the Cake Boss. I actually have a "meet and greet" with him. Can we make it a "meet and eat"?!?! Hahaha.
This afternoon, Thom and I have a golf tournament to attend. It's a fundraising activity for my friend Libby who does the Avon walk for cancer every year. I don't golf, but I'll be attending the banquet. I'll drive the golf cart around, I like doing that! But no one trusts me to do that, for some reason...
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Still have stuff to say!
I've been working on this blog for awhile, things keep seem to happen. I ended up in the hospital again for a fever. Two weeks ago, after treatment, I developed a fever. Remembering what happened last time (vomiting, nausea and dehydration), I wanted to nip it in the bud before it got out of hand. Called my oncologist and he told me to go to the ER. I did and they kept me overnight. They can't seem to discover what is causing it. The nurses remembered me.
Had treatment yesterday, and I got another fever. I took some tylenol and called it a day. We'll have to visit this when I see Dr. Silver next time.
Thom and I went to Maine last weekend. My sister-in-law has a place in Normway, ME (or Otisfield, ME). The weather was absolutely fantastic. Every other time we had gone up there, it rained. Mary said that if it rained this time, we were no longer invited! LOL We had tons of fun, we went horseback riding, went shopping and just enjoyed the weather. The dogs absolutely love it up there. They roam free and go in and out of the water all day. It's so nice to see them just loving life.
Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of me and Thom's first date. I can't believe it's been 20 years!! I've known him more than half my life. Time has gone by so fast. I can't remember what life was like before him. Well, I can, but it wasn't as great. He's made me so happy, I love life with him. I love telling people how long we've been together, I love their amazement. Yes, I was lucky enough to meet my mate, my soulmate, my best friend. I'm grateful every day for him.
Thom has been renovating the living room. He painted the walls, removed the carpet and is putting down a hardwood floor. It looks great! The walls are a nice deep green, with white trim. It was beige on beige before, it actually looked yellowish when the white trim covered it. I'm very excited about it. Gives me another room to decorate!!
I signed up for a stained glass class! I'm very psyched about this. I've been looking for stained glass for the sunroom because there is a nice large window in there. Unfortunately, stained glass is in it's very nature, Victorian. My house is country. I designed a panel that has a more country-ish feel to it. The room's theme is stars and sheep. Looking forward to this.
I'm driving now, and I feel like a whole new world has opened up. I'm able to go out after work, and just able to do anything I want. I'm so happy. I've been missing so much. But I won't dwell on that. I'm only looking forward and what I'm able to do now.
This is a very long blog. I've been neglectful. Thank you for sticking with me.
Had treatment yesterday, and I got another fever. I took some tylenol and called it a day. We'll have to visit this when I see Dr. Silver next time.
Thom and I went to Maine last weekend. My sister-in-law has a place in Normway, ME (or Otisfield, ME). The weather was absolutely fantastic. Every other time we had gone up there, it rained. Mary said that if it rained this time, we were no longer invited! LOL We had tons of fun, we went horseback riding, went shopping and just enjoyed the weather. The dogs absolutely love it up there. They roam free and go in and out of the water all day. It's so nice to see them just loving life.
Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of me and Thom's first date. I can't believe it's been 20 years!! I've known him more than half my life. Time has gone by so fast. I can't remember what life was like before him. Well, I can, but it wasn't as great. He's made me so happy, I love life with him. I love telling people how long we've been together, I love their amazement. Yes, I was lucky enough to meet my mate, my soulmate, my best friend. I'm grateful every day for him.
Thom has been renovating the living room. He painted the walls, removed the carpet and is putting down a hardwood floor. It looks great! The walls are a nice deep green, with white trim. It was beige on beige before, it actually looked yellowish when the white trim covered it. I'm very excited about it. Gives me another room to decorate!!
I signed up for a stained glass class! I'm very psyched about this. I've been looking for stained glass for the sunroom because there is a nice large window in there. Unfortunately, stained glass is in it's very nature, Victorian. My house is country. I designed a panel that has a more country-ish feel to it. The room's theme is stars and sheep. Looking forward to this.
I'm driving now, and I feel like a whole new world has opened up. I'm able to go out after work, and just able to do anything I want. I'm so happy. I've been missing so much. But I won't dwell on that. I'm only looking forward and what I'm able to do now.
This is a very long blog. I've been neglectful. Thank you for sticking with me.
Breaking the Silence
Wow, my last post was in June. I apologize for being so quiet. Life has been status quo, so not much has been happening, other than work, eating and sleeping. Boring, I know.
Speaking of work, I am enjoying it very much! One day, I was up at 3am, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to go into work. Why not? I had nothing else to do...sleep was being elusive. So I showed up at work at 5am. Nobody was there, except for the security guard (who INSISTS on calling me Ma'am, I don't like it, don't like it one bit!!!) That day, I got SO much work done because there were no distractions! I saw the sunrise...I hadn't seen that in years! I was hooked. Now I have to go in for 4:30am. I LOVE it!! I'm by myself, and I get tons done. Most of all, I get to see the sunrise everyday. I never realized how beautiful a sunrise is. The sky starts to turn all sorts of colors; reds, purples, oranges, it's amazing! Only one other analyst comes in early: at 5am. But she's in the lab the whole day, so she's no bother. She came into my office area Friday morning and said, "Have you seen the sunrise, it's awfully beautiful this morning!" I looked out and the sun was a large dark orange ball. It had just gotten over the horizon. It's just breathtaking. We watched the sun for a few minutes then went back to work. People think I'm nuts (what else is new?!) for showing up to work so early, but the benefits way outweigh the negatives. 1) There is NO traffic, I get to work in record time. You know me, I HATE traffic, puts me right into a panic. 2) I get a front row parking spot (prime real estate!) 3) I get tons of work done (My boss and her manager are wicked impressed with my work, my boss wrote me this wonderful email.) They like me! They really really like me! So hire me as a permanent employee! This contractor stuff is for the birds. And 4) I get to go home early! This is BY far the best benefit. I get home around 2-2:30, and I have the rest of the afternoon to do...whatever! I can run errands, etc. This is what makes me very happy. Getting home at 6 or 7, we had just enough time to cook, eat, and then go to bed. Doing that everyday is depressing to me. So this is awesome for me! I can't tell you how happy it makes me!
This is the most I've talked about work. Getting burned before, I'm very cautious about what I write now. I DETEST feeling censored, but people seem to have so much time on their hands, that they feel it's their duty to stick their noses into everyone else's business. Those kind of people are pathetic and make me sick. Worry about YOU. Who do you think you are? Grrr, I could go on and on about this. I see it all the time, people just feeling it's their BUSINESS to watch everyone else. GAH!
OK, enough about that, I don't feel like getting all bent out of shape at 7:30 in the morning! LOL
We're going into Boston today for treatment. I saw the doctor on the 6th of this month. He's been keeping a close eye on my tumor markers and although they are still LOW (compared to when I first started treatment), they are creeping up slowly. We decided to stay the course for another couple of months and then re-evaluate again. I see him again on the 8th of October. He may do some scans then. But he's so impressed with my progress, we want to stay on this course of treatment as long as possible. I don't have any problems with this chemo, so I'm happy too.
Healthwise, I've been good. I have developed this chronic dry cough that is so strong and disruptive. It wakes me up at night; I just start coughing and I can't stop for like 5 minutes. It gets so overpowering that I start to gag. It alarms people at work. I take cough medicine, and for the most part it works, but sometimes it just doesn't. It's worse at night (of course, while I'm trying to sleep). I try to reposition and that helps sometimes, but not often.
I told one of the nurses about this cough (as well as the doctor). Come to find out that one of the drugs I take, Avastin, is known to cause a chronic, dry cough. It wasn't one of the original side effects of the drug, but the nurses are hearing more and more patients complaining about this kind of cough. It made me feel a little bit better that it wasn't just me, but it's still disruptive.
Speaking of Avastin, it's been in the news lately. The claims that the company that makes it
seem to be untrue. They stated that it slows tumor growth for 5 months. It's been found to only slow it down for 1 or 2 months. The FDA is thinking about rescinding their approval of this drug for breast cancer use. I guess that Avastin made the fast track to FDA approval, and there were not enough studies done on it. I don't know much about that, all I know is that Avastin, in conjunction with the Taxol, is helping me very much. If the FDA rescinds their approval, insurance companies will stop covering it for breast cancer use. How many people does it help? That should be looked at. I don't know if it does anything for me, maybe it's all the Taxol...but why mess with something that's working?? I'm keeping a close eye on this talk.
Also come to find out that the company I work for manufactures one of the hormone drugs I used to be on. How do you like that?! I think it's awesome!
Speaking of work, I am enjoying it very much! One day, I was up at 3am, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to go into work. Why not? I had nothing else to do...sleep was being elusive. So I showed up at work at 5am. Nobody was there, except for the security guard (who INSISTS on calling me Ma'am, I don't like it, don't like it one bit!!!) That day, I got SO much work done because there were no distractions! I saw the sunrise...I hadn't seen that in years! I was hooked. Now I have to go in for 4:30am. I LOVE it!! I'm by myself, and I get tons done. Most of all, I get to see the sunrise everyday. I never realized how beautiful a sunrise is. The sky starts to turn all sorts of colors; reds, purples, oranges, it's amazing! Only one other analyst comes in early: at 5am. But she's in the lab the whole day, so she's no bother. She came into my office area Friday morning and said, "Have you seen the sunrise, it's awfully beautiful this morning!" I looked out and the sun was a large dark orange ball. It had just gotten over the horizon. It's just breathtaking. We watched the sun for a few minutes then went back to work. People think I'm nuts (what else is new?!) for showing up to work so early, but the benefits way outweigh the negatives. 1) There is NO traffic, I get to work in record time. You know me, I HATE traffic, puts me right into a panic. 2) I get a front row parking spot (prime real estate!) 3) I get tons of work done (My boss and her manager are wicked impressed with my work, my boss wrote me this wonderful email.) They like me! They really really like me! So hire me as a permanent employee! This contractor stuff is for the birds. And 4) I get to go home early! This is BY far the best benefit. I get home around 2-2:30, and I have the rest of the afternoon to do...whatever! I can run errands, etc. This is what makes me very happy. Getting home at 6 or 7, we had just enough time to cook, eat, and then go to bed. Doing that everyday is depressing to me. So this is awesome for me! I can't tell you how happy it makes me!
This is the most I've talked about work. Getting burned before, I'm very cautious about what I write now. I DETEST feeling censored, but people seem to have so much time on their hands, that they feel it's their duty to stick their noses into everyone else's business. Those kind of people are pathetic and make me sick. Worry about YOU. Who do you think you are? Grrr, I could go on and on about this. I see it all the time, people just feeling it's their BUSINESS to watch everyone else. GAH!
OK, enough about that, I don't feel like getting all bent out of shape at 7:30 in the morning! LOL
We're going into Boston today for treatment. I saw the doctor on the 6th of this month. He's been keeping a close eye on my tumor markers and although they are still LOW (compared to when I first started treatment), they are creeping up slowly. We decided to stay the course for another couple of months and then re-evaluate again. I see him again on the 8th of October. He may do some scans then. But he's so impressed with my progress, we want to stay on this course of treatment as long as possible. I don't have any problems with this chemo, so I'm happy too.
Healthwise, I've been good. I have developed this chronic dry cough that is so strong and disruptive. It wakes me up at night; I just start coughing and I can't stop for like 5 minutes. It gets so overpowering that I start to gag. It alarms people at work. I take cough medicine, and for the most part it works, but sometimes it just doesn't. It's worse at night (of course, while I'm trying to sleep). I try to reposition and that helps sometimes, but not often.
I told one of the nurses about this cough (as well as the doctor). Come to find out that one of the drugs I take, Avastin, is known to cause a chronic, dry cough. It wasn't one of the original side effects of the drug, but the nurses are hearing more and more patients complaining about this kind of cough. It made me feel a little bit better that it wasn't just me, but it's still disruptive.
Speaking of Avastin, it's been in the news lately. The claims that the company that makes it
seem to be untrue. They stated that it slows tumor growth for 5 months. It's been found to only slow it down for 1 or 2 months. The FDA is thinking about rescinding their approval of this drug for breast cancer use. I guess that Avastin made the fast track to FDA approval, and there were not enough studies done on it. I don't know much about that, all I know is that Avastin, in conjunction with the Taxol, is helping me very much. If the FDA rescinds their approval, insurance companies will stop covering it for breast cancer use. How many people does it help? That should be looked at. I don't know if it does anything for me, maybe it's all the Taxol...but why mess with something that's working?? I'm keeping a close eye on this talk.
Also come to find out that the company I work for manufactures one of the hormone drugs I used to be on. How do you like that?! I think it's awesome!
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