New Beginning?

Quite a few things have changed in the last week.

Thom was offered a position in Chicago. To even see if this move was feasible, we had a real estate agent come to the house to tell us how much we could sell our house for. In the current market, we would get $50k less than what we owe on the house. There was no way that we could do this. So, the decision was made not to move to Chicago. But that also means that we are unable to move closer to Boston. At least not yet. Anyone want to buy a house in Brookfield?? ;)

I have a new job! I had an interview on Monday and got out at 2:30. At 3:30, I got the call that I got the job! Sahweeet! And that's all I'm going to say about that.

I really believe things happen for a reason. I start on Monday. But now Thom is going to be out of work on April 23rd, so we are just switching positions. No step ahead, but no step back either. Hopefully Thom will get a job soon too. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

I began driving a little again! I made it all the way to Millbury, which is like almost to Worcester. One day, I was just driving to Walmart which became like second nature, and I decided to see how far I could drive before I started freaking out. At every stoplight, I said to myself, "Lets just make it to the next stoplight." And I kept saying that. This is absolutely a miracle for me. I tried to produce an anxiety attack, but one wouldn't come. Could my medications actually be working?? About a month ago, I asked my doctor if there was something else he could give me to control the anxiety, because I felt like I needed just a little something else to push me over the hump. This is going to sound weird, but while trying to induce an attack, I actually felt the anxiety hit a wall and it couldn't get through it to escalate. I felt such elation! Do you know what this means?!? I am not a prisoner to myself anymore. I won't have to depend on people to drive me everywhere I need to go. How amazing that would be!

In other news, Chemo is still going well, I'm feeling good.

Thanks for standing by me.

Voice

I got sick around March 3rd, had a very nasty cough, so nasty, it made me vomit (TMI I know). I was coughing so much that I lost my voice, and I mean lost it. I couldn't even speak at all. Thom enjoyed that time because it was quiet! That lasted for a good week and a half. I got some cough medicine from my doctor and that worked miracles. No more coughing, which gave my voice box and larynx time to recoup. But now I have my voice back, it's still froggy, but at least I can talk.

Still looking for a job.

We're having a real estate agent coming to the house tomorrow to look at it and appraise it etc. Just to see. We don't have any kind of plan yet, and that sucks. I hate having things up in the air like this.

Treatment's going fine. The IV's are getting harder to put into my hands because they've been poked so much, they've developed scar tissue and they have to press harder to get the needles in. Truth be told, that's the worst part of it. The veins are more prone to collapsing because they're poked a lot. I'm surprised I don't have track marks! ;)

I've been slowly getting rid of the clutter in the house. I have a huge pile to donate/sell whatever. It's amazing the amount of stuff you accumulate over the years.

Well, I'm going to go take a dog out for a walk. I can't take both of them at the same time because they kill me. I get so exhausted. But I always feel bad for the one I leave behind because they look at me like, "Mama, why aren't you taking ME?!" Breaks my heart. I need Ceasar Milan to come and show me how to be a better pack leader. That guy is utterly amazing. I watch his show and try to implement his techniques, but it doesn't work. Max is a good boy, I took the time to train him. But Tanner? She's a bundle of energy and she makes me so tired.

Anyways, talk soon!