Today is the one year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. I'm kind of torn about this day. I'm happy because I am able to celebrate another year here, but I'm sad because it's become a day to acknowledge. April 25th will not just be any other day for me anymore. I can remember that day vividly in my mind. What I was wearing, where I was sitting in the waiting room, what was in the waiting room, what was on the TV that was playing in the waiting room. Walking into the Xray room, seeing my mammogram up on the light box, and thinking to myself, "Wow, that doesn't look normal." And also thinking to myself, "That's not what I pictured cancer to look like on an Xray."
I remembered what I had for lunch that day...a Lean Cuisine panini...and where I threw it up. To this day, I cannot even look at a panini sandwich without getting nauseous. I remember getting home that day, crying my eyes out, and then taking a nap on the couch. I just wanted to sleep so that I would stop thinking.
Those first 8-9 months were the hardest to get through. I don't know how I did it, well, actually, I do. With the love and support of Thom, that's how. He's been my rock and he has been there through it all. Thank you, Thom. I didn't think it was possible, but each day that goes by, I love you more and more.
I've been doing surveys for Dana-Farber since I started there, it's the Young Women's Breast Cancer Study. They want to know about all kinds of things from the perspective of a woman under 40 with breast cancer. They ask about background, work status, health status (umm, I have cancer!), emotional status (not enough room to discuss that!!), body image, activities, social impact, etc. I get a package in the mail a couple of days ago and they want to know how my life is one year after diagnosis. They want to compare it with the first survey. For the next 2 years, I will receive surveys every 6 months and subsequently, I will receive them yearly for 7 years. So I will be around for at least 7 more years so that I can complete the surveys!! At least! God willing!
So, today I am celebrating surviving one year! YEAH ME!!
Baby steps, one day at a time.
I want to thank you all for being here too. Your support and laughter help me more than you know!!
And I'd like to thank the Academy...
LOL, I crack myself up!!
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4 comments:
"I want to the thank the Academy"...
...now picture the audience standing and clapping!
love you!
YEAH EMILY
YEAH THOM
LOL
West Coast Mom
On November 3rd 2008 it will be 14 years since your niece, Nicole was diagnosed with cancer. It will come and go without fanfare. I will remember that day forever as you will remember April 25th. As the years go by, the days since then will mean more to you and those who love then all the days that came before. To live each day to its fullest is not slogan for us who are touched by cancer, but a challenge.
I picture you slapping ***** in the face with a glove and shouting “Bring it on bone boy, I am here and I’m staying!” The movie wrapped around that image will surely be honored by the academy.
I wish you would do some standup since the world needs more humor.
Here's to many many many many many more years to come! You are one strong woman!!
xoxo,
Becky
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