Avast, me hearties!

Today is International Talk like a Pirate Day! www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html

My pirate name is Mad Jenny Rackham and all day long I was going up to people saying, "Arrr, ye scurvy dog, swab the decks or ye goin' be walkin' de plank and meetin' Davy Jones, savvy?" One girl brought in eye patches for people to wear. Next year I hope to bring in some pirate booty. :)

More importantly, today, I drove by myself. I drove for 10 minutes. I was very nervous, but I did it! Baby steps. I will do it again tomorrow. I'm very happy about this, I haven't driven by myself (except to the gas station 1 min away) in over a year.

People take it for granted, but driving is not so easy for me. It's one of my biggest panic triggers. That and traffic. Well, just the feeling of being trapped, of not being able to get away if I need to. So, like the Mass Pike is a problem for me because the exits are pretty far away from each other, and I feel like I can't get off that road fast if I needed to. But these are things I'm working on getting over. Or getting used to dealing with. If I can get control of this panic, a whole new world can open up for me. I'll be able to do so much more. I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself the past year, and I didn't realize it until recently. That's a hard realization to come to. I can't control the cancer, but I can take back the control that the panic has taken away. I have the power, I have the control. When I learn not to fear the sensations I get when I have a panic attack, I will no longer get them. Seems simple. In theory, it is. Putting it into practice will take, well, practice. Lots and lots of it. I will keep you posted on my successes.

Got another low-grade fever last night. I'm going to be calling my doctor on Monday, it may be nothing, but I want to make sure. It may just be the medication, or the hot flashes, who knows. The fever only lasts for less than 24 hours. It's strange. Maybe I have cat scratch fever. LOL, that's for you Thom!