A pain in the ass, literally!

Ok, so now radiation is done, I'm off chemo for a couple of weeks, you think things would calm down, right?  Wrong.

I guess the cumulative effects have hit me...all at once.  My hair decided to fall out in like 1 day, it was so not nice, so Thom offered to shave my head.  After the hair was mostly gone, it was apparent that I had a reverse mohawk!  It was bald in the middle, with some occasional patches elsewhere.  The hair is very prickly, so it stabs my head while I'm trying to lay down to sleep.  Ah, sleep, the ever elusive state.  I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. 

It's impossible to hide that fact that I have cancer now.  With all my hair gone, it's totally obvious something's going on.  I have had to tell other people at work the story because I get double takes.  They don't SAY anything, but you know what they're thinking.  They are just not sure if they should ask.  I understand, I mean, what do you say?  "Hey Em, how are you?  Say, what's up with the hair?"  But I found that the more silent people are, the more weirded out I get.  Strangers in the cafeteria look over at me, and smile.  Never happened before.  I just blended in with the crowd.  Happy Emily.  But now?  I feel I have a spotlight on me and everyone is looking.  It's probably just me, but that's how I feel.  Most people are too self absorbed to even notice anyone besides themselves.  I told some people I decided to shave my head ala Britney Spears, and they just laugh.  But I have an eye patch, and I'm going to wear it tomorrow, ala Pirate.  A workmate has a fake raven on her desk and I will borrow that and put it on my shoulder.  I will even talk to it throughout the day.  It's not a parrot, but who cares?  It's Pirates ala Edgar Allen Poe!  Bet he never wrote anything about that!  I'm going to have fun with this, why not?!

I had begun to have some hip pain, so the doctor did some Xrays.  It looked ok, no weakening in the joint or bone, but he noticed I had a bone cyst.  I have to look that up because I don't know how you can get a cyst on your bone?  That seems to be putting some pressure on my L5 vertabrae, which is now causing sciatic pain.  If you're never experienced sciatica (consider yourself lucky), you get a shooting pain in your butt, down to your knee.  You are not comfortable sitting, laying down is no fun either, and it hurts to walk.  So standing in one spot is ok, until you get tired.  So now, when I try to sleep, I get shooting pains.  Oh, and to make it all better, when I lay down, I cough, a lot.  So I pulled a musce in my right shoulder.  When it rains it pours.  The pain is constant, the only slight relief is Tylenol.  There's really no real "cure" for it, just have to ride it out.  I got suggestions, like heat, which helps a little.  If I start to get radiating back pain, the doctor said it will be time to image it with an MRI.  I really should be glowing right now with all the radiation I have been exposed to.  Maybe I can make a superhero out of that, kind of like Rudolph, although he wasn't a superhero, he had a purpose.  The power to glow, some superpower!  LOL

Ok, I'm done complaining about my pain. 

Now on to complaining about other things!  I've had just about enough of the snow.  The snow, bitter cold, and more snow.  It's really sucking wind.  It's supposed to snow again tomorrow night.  I equate it to getting stuck at every red light, you get into a rhythm, and you hit every single red light.  We're in a snow rhythm.  We need to get out of it...someone blow a red light please!  :)  Just kidding!

I think people are panicking in the snow now.  The snow wasn't even that bad today (compared to the storms last Tuesday and Friday), but traffic was just as bad, if not worse, than those days.  I don't understand.  You have extremes:  people who think they're indestructible and don't give a shit about the other people on the road, and do 80 mph; then there are the insanely cautious, they go 20 mph on the highway.  I understand that they don't want to get into an accident, but sometimes, being like that, causes them.  It's New England.  It sucks, we get snow.  Get used to it.  Don't drive like an idiot, be smart.  I plan on staying home Thursday if it's really bad.  One less car on the road.  And for those assholes who drive like maniacs, what job is SO important that you need to speed to get there?  Unless you're a doctor and there's an emergency, ok, but I doubt there are that many doctors on the road.  And if your boss expects you to be there no matter what, reconsider your chosen place of employment.  Nothing is worth risking your life (AND the lives of others) to drive like a shithead.  Unless it's an emergency.  There's always an exception.  But again, I doubt there are that many emergencies on the road.  It took Thom about 3 hours to get to work this morning.  That's insane!  He could've been in Maine by then and probably having more fun.

OK, off my soapbox.  Wow, lots of complaining today!  I must be cranky!  :)

Let's see, good news?  My nephew Logan is growing so much!  He already looks so different!  I should see them in the spring or summer, not quite sure when yet.

Thom has been spectacular through all of this.  He drove me to radiation every day without a complaint, even though it was out of his way to drive me back to work afterwards, and then drive back to the Boston area.  He's been taking good care of me and I thank God everyday for him.  I love you so much.

The upstairs bathroom is completed now!  We just need to get a cabinet or something to store the towels etc. in because we lost the closet.  But I love it!  Much brighter!  More decorating for me!  Yay!

I think that's about it.  My New Year's resolution is to update this blog more often!  I just didn't want it to be a pressure thing, you know?  I write when the mood strikes me.  But so much happens that I don't write about, and I want to change that.  I feel connected to you all via this, so it's also good for me.

Thank you John D for your offer of assistance!  I may call on you sometime.  It's much appreciated.

Oh, I forgot to mention:  I received a box in the mail last week, and it was a brand new pair of shoes that I looked at in Dallas.   My wonderful future sister-in-law got them for me!  She has been showering me with gifts.  It's actually very nice and sweet!  Thank you Michelle!!  They are sexy!!  :)

All right folks, Thom just got home, so it's time for me to go.  Thanks again for sticking by me on this blog. 

Peace out!