Yes, I know I'm insane, you all know that I'm insane, but let me tell you just HOW insane I am by sharing this little diddy.
Now grant you, this is only Day 2 of taking Tamoxifen. Day 2.
Day 1. Yesterday. I picked up the medicine, left it in the car for about 2 1/2 hours. Freaked out about it because it was in the car and it was 106 degrees in the car. I was sure that the medicine was now ruined and that it wouldn't work because the insert said to "store at room temperature." Asked people around work, they told me it was ok. Didn't believe them. Called the pharmacy and they told me it was ok too. Didn't believe them.
Day 2. Today. Driving into work with Thom this morning. He had a 24 ounce bottle of orange juice that he was drinking. I decided to take my Tamoxifen then. Put the pill in my mouth, took a swig of OJ. SWISHED the pill in my mouth to make sure it was in there. Swallowed. About 5 minutes later, I started stressing that somehow, the pill JUMPED out of my mouth and landed into the jug of OJ. Looked at the jug to see if I could see the pill floating around. Nothing. Please refer to the sentence where I said that I swished the pill in my mouth to make sure it was there. I KNEW it was in my mouth, I felt it. But this nagging voice kept saying, "What if it's in the OJ?!" Freaking out. Thom's laughing at me. He told me to just drink the rest of the OJ, so if I was sure the pill lept out of my mouth, at least I could drink the OJ and feel better. Fine. Drank 24 ounces of OJ. Feel sick to my stomach.
Can't wait for Day 3.
Can we say OH MY GOD?!
It's so hard to be me. Honestly. No wonder I am always tired. It's so hard to be in my head.
Hope this made you laugh.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Hip Biopsy Results
Got the results from my hip biopsy. As suspected, the cells in my hips are also Estrogen/Progesterone Receptor +, same as the breast tumor. So, that means I can begin treatment! Finally!
I will begin taking a drug called Tamoxifen, it's one pill a day. The way in which Tamoxifen works is this (quoted from http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/ - Don't want to plagiarize!):
Most breast cancers need supplies of the female hormone oestrogen to grow. Cancer cells have proteins called receptors on their surface that the sex hormones attach to. Cancers with oestrogen-receptors on the surface of their cells are called 'oestrogen-receptor-positive' (ER-positive) and tamoxifen is most effective against these cancers.
Under normal circumstances, when oestrogen comes into contact with the receptors, it fits into them and activates the cancer cells to divide so that the tumor grows.
Tamoxifen imitates the action of oestrogen and fits into the receptor but does not activate the cells to divide. The tamoxifen stays in place and stops oestrogen from reaching the cancer cells so that they either grow more slowly or stop growing altogether.
I will continue taking Tamoxifen until it stops working. Side effects include menopausal symptoms, hot flashes, night sweats, etc. So watch out! I'm going to be one hot, sweaty, biotch with an attitude! :) People at work better get their SOPs* reviewed! Or else...
I will have an increased risk of developing blood clots, so I was told that if I notice any swelling in my feet, I need to hot-trot it down to the nearest emergency room, because that's not something I want to mess around with. Guess I will just have to walk around the office a lot more and not sit at my desk all day.
It takes Tamoxifen about a few months to get really going, it needs to build up in my system. When it's been about 3 months, Dr. Silver will start measuring the tumor in my left breast and start to take images from time to time. I asked him what happens, if at 3 months, we see no change? He said he would be very happy with that. He told me that if he could freeze time until I'm 85, he would be ecstatic. But, if it gets bigger, then we will have to attack it more aggressively. He's very positive that I will respond well to this.
I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Silver in one month to see how I'm reacting to the medicine.
*SOPs: Standard Operating Procedures - it is basically the "how-to" on doing tests in the lab. A recipe book, if you will. Because, after all, it's all about food! :D
I will begin taking a drug called Tamoxifen, it's one pill a day. The way in which Tamoxifen works is this (quoted from http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/ - Don't want to plagiarize!):
Most breast cancers need supplies of the female hormone oestrogen to grow. Cancer cells have proteins called receptors on their surface that the sex hormones attach to. Cancers with oestrogen-receptors on the surface of their cells are called 'oestrogen-receptor-positive' (ER-positive) and tamoxifen is most effective against these cancers.
Under normal circumstances, when oestrogen comes into contact with the receptors, it fits into them and activates the cancer cells to divide so that the tumor grows.
Tamoxifen imitates the action of oestrogen and fits into the receptor but does not activate the cells to divide. The tamoxifen stays in place and stops oestrogen from reaching the cancer cells so that they either grow more slowly or stop growing altogether.
I will continue taking Tamoxifen until it stops working. Side effects include menopausal symptoms, hot flashes, night sweats, etc. So watch out! I'm going to be one hot, sweaty, biotch with an attitude! :) People at work better get their SOPs* reviewed! Or else...
I will have an increased risk of developing blood clots, so I was told that if I notice any swelling in my feet, I need to hot-trot it down to the nearest emergency room, because that's not something I want to mess around with. Guess I will just have to walk around the office a lot more and not sit at my desk all day.
It takes Tamoxifen about a few months to get really going, it needs to build up in my system. When it's been about 3 months, Dr. Silver will start measuring the tumor in my left breast and start to take images from time to time. I asked him what happens, if at 3 months, we see no change? He said he would be very happy with that. He told me that if he could freeze time until I'm 85, he would be ecstatic. But, if it gets bigger, then we will have to attack it more aggressively. He's very positive that I will respond well to this.
I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. Silver in one month to see how I'm reacting to the medicine.
*SOPs: Standard Operating Procedures - it is basically the "how-to" on doing tests in the lab. A recipe book, if you will. Because, after all, it's all about food! :D
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Comment Moderation
As much as I love being international, I have decided that I will now be moderating comments left on my blog. I got this comment (you can try to read it) in Brazilian, something about customized T-shirts. Great. Just what I want. I'll buy a T-shirt that says "Look at me, I have breast cancer!" or "I have cancer and all I got was this T-shirt!"
I don't want to have to do this, I get great pleasure in going to my blog and being surprised at the comments. I can't figure out how to delete his comment.
Anyways, I will see how this works. If I don't like it, I'll revisit.
UPDATE: I figured out how to delete unwanted comments, so I am going to remove the comment moderation. I knew there had to be a way...
I don't want to have to do this, I get great pleasure in going to my blog and being surprised at the comments. I can't figure out how to delete his comment.
Anyways, I will see how this works. If I don't like it, I'll revisit.
UPDATE: I figured out how to delete unwanted comments, so I am going to remove the comment moderation. I knew there had to be a way...
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thom has been replaced...
I have a new pain in the ass this morning! :)~
Sorry I didn't write yesterday, by the time I got home, I was too tired to do anything except sleep.
The whole Brigham & Women's, Children's and Dana Farber complex is like one big city, they are all connected by walkways, the places are HUGE!
We got to B&W and I had to get a blue hospital card...I'm starting a collection of hospital cards! When we go to the CT area, I got led into what looked like a day surgery area, beds were lined up and I had a nice johnny and a wonderful (not!) pair of socks waiting for me. Once I changed, the nurse came over to start an IV. Let me tell you, that was probably the worst part of this whole thing. She tried my left hand, blew the vein out on that side. Meanwhile, I'm in PAIN, and all she says is that I'm a very facially expressive person. Uh, you are HURTING me! Of course I'm going to make faces, if I don't make faces, I may have to just PUNCH you in the head!!! Then she tried my right hand, butchered that, but finally got the catether in. Blood's everywhere. "Oh, it bleeds wonderfully once we got it in there." Yeah, great, get the hell away from me and let me clean up YOUR mess!
The radiologist who was performing this procedure came to talk to us, I swear, he must've only been about 21 years old!! Ok, so maybe not 21, but he was Y-O-U-N-G!
They wheeled me into a very cold room and I had to lay on my stomach. They put a grid on my butt and had to get some pictures first, to line it up with the grid. Once they got the right spot, they marked it on my skin and removed the grid. Here I am, ass up, my crack exposed to everyone in the room! I wanted to tell them all to kiss it, but they are there to help me after all! :)
They numbed up the area as best they could, and the numbing medicine hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but once it was numb, it was fine, sort of. They were also giving me pain meds and light sedation medicine through the IV. I forget the name of the meds, but I was feeling pretty good there. I did feel them taking the samples, but all in all, it wasn't as bad as I had feared. They took 5 core samples in all, but the nice meds they gave me made me feel happy.
They made me hang around for about 1/2 hour and then discharged me. Walking was a bitch, you'd think they would give me a wheelchair. I rode in the passenger seat on my right side, my left ass cheek facing Thom. Heehee. Stopped in to see my parents on the way home. Mom had a nice dinner waiting, so we ate well, which made me happy. We got home, it must've been about 9:30pm, and I went straight to bed.
I am much sorer today. The injection sites where they numbed me up hurts the most, but other than being sore, I am doing fine.
We will not have the results for 3-5 days, so as soon as I know, I will let you know!
I do have to take this time to wish my friend Jerry a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! It was yesterday, I'm sorry I missed it!! But you are now on my calendar, my friend, so it will not be missed again!! Hope your day was wonderful!
Sorry I didn't write yesterday, by the time I got home, I was too tired to do anything except sleep.
The whole Brigham & Women's, Children's and Dana Farber complex is like one big city, they are all connected by walkways, the places are HUGE!
We got to B&W and I had to get a blue hospital card...I'm starting a collection of hospital cards! When we go to the CT area, I got led into what looked like a day surgery area, beds were lined up and I had a nice johnny and a wonderful (not!) pair of socks waiting for me. Once I changed, the nurse came over to start an IV. Let me tell you, that was probably the worst part of this whole thing. She tried my left hand, blew the vein out on that side. Meanwhile, I'm in PAIN, and all she says is that I'm a very facially expressive person. Uh, you are HURTING me! Of course I'm going to make faces, if I don't make faces, I may have to just PUNCH you in the head!!! Then she tried my right hand, butchered that, but finally got the catether in. Blood's everywhere. "Oh, it bleeds wonderfully once we got it in there." Yeah, great, get the hell away from me and let me clean up YOUR mess!
The radiologist who was performing this procedure came to talk to us, I swear, he must've only been about 21 years old!! Ok, so maybe not 21, but he was Y-O-U-N-G!
They wheeled me into a very cold room and I had to lay on my stomach. They put a grid on my butt and had to get some pictures first, to line it up with the grid. Once they got the right spot, they marked it on my skin and removed the grid. Here I am, ass up, my crack exposed to everyone in the room! I wanted to tell them all to kiss it, but they are there to help me after all! :)
They numbed up the area as best they could, and the numbing medicine hurt like a son-of-a-bitch, but once it was numb, it was fine, sort of. They were also giving me pain meds and light sedation medicine through the IV. I forget the name of the meds, but I was feeling pretty good there. I did feel them taking the samples, but all in all, it wasn't as bad as I had feared. They took 5 core samples in all, but the nice meds they gave me made me feel happy.
They made me hang around for about 1/2 hour and then discharged me. Walking was a bitch, you'd think they would give me a wheelchair. I rode in the passenger seat on my right side, my left ass cheek facing Thom. Heehee. Stopped in to see my parents on the way home. Mom had a nice dinner waiting, so we ate well, which made me happy. We got home, it must've been about 9:30pm, and I went straight to bed.
I am much sorer today. The injection sites where they numbed me up hurts the most, but other than being sore, I am doing fine.
We will not have the results for 3-5 days, so as soon as I know, I will let you know!
I do have to take this time to wish my friend Jerry a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! It was yesterday, I'm sorry I missed it!! But you are now on my calendar, my friend, so it will not be missed again!! Hope your day was wonderful!
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Biopsy Date
Just got off the phone with Dr. Silver. I have a CT-guided biopsy of the pelvis scheduled for Thursday, 6.21.07, the first day of summer. I have to be at the Brigham and Women's Hospital by 2:00pm. There was talk about not doing it until next week, but I hit the roof. I can't keep playing this waiting game. So the proverbial squeaky wheel got some grease. I'm subdued. For now.
I will have to have a ride home because they will be giving me IV pain meds. From my understanding, they will take a number of pictures with the CT scanner and then, using those pictures, guide a lovely needle into my bone where they think they can get the best sample.
Once they get a sample, they have to de-calcify the bone before they run the other tests on it, so the de-calcification is going to take 1-2 days, and then however long it takes them to do the other tests. Grrr.
If they don't get the kind of sample they need, they have me scheduled for a PET CT biopsy, which is another PET scan, but they will do a biopsy right during the procedure. That's scheduled for June 28th and it takes a week for the results of that. I swear, if I have to wait until July to start treatment, I'm going to go ballistic.
I have to go for some special blood test tomorrow. They need to test for bleeding disorders. I'm not going into Boston just for the blood test, so I'm going to Fallon. I can't take any Motrin/Ibuprofen until after the test.
Why can't anything be simple? I've always hated Drama, but it seems that's all I'm getting, more Drama.
I will have to have a ride home because they will be giving me IV pain meds. From my understanding, they will take a number of pictures with the CT scanner and then, using those pictures, guide a lovely needle into my bone where they think they can get the best sample.
Once they get a sample, they have to de-calcify the bone before they run the other tests on it, so the de-calcification is going to take 1-2 days, and then however long it takes them to do the other tests. Grrr.
If they don't get the kind of sample they need, they have me scheduled for a PET CT biopsy, which is another PET scan, but they will do a biopsy right during the procedure. That's scheduled for June 28th and it takes a week for the results of that. I swear, if I have to wait until July to start treatment, I'm going to go ballistic.
I have to go for some special blood test tomorrow. They need to test for bleeding disorders. I'm not going into Boston just for the blood test, so I'm going to Fallon. I can't take any Motrin/Ibuprofen until after the test.
Why can't anything be simple? I've always hated Drama, but it seems that's all I'm getting, more Drama.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Thoughts
It's so hard not to be consumed by all of this. It's so hard when the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of when you go to bed is this. Some days are better than others. There are split seconds during my day when I forget I have cancer. Just a split second. Then it all comes back to me and hits me in the face like a ton of bricks.
I think working is one of my saving factors. People at work ask me why I'm there. I have to be. I can't stay at home and wallow, I just can't. I'm not that productive at work lately, but I'm glad to be there. Hell, I'm glad to be anywhere right now. People at work make me smile, make me laugh, and even make me mad. But most of all, they make me forget, for a short time anyways. When I'm at work, I almost feel normal (as normal as I'll ever be!)
But how easy it would be to not even get out of bed in the morning. So easy.
I have never prayed so hard in my life. Every night, I pray that I will be strong through all of this, that I will have faith that I will make it through this, I pray for all my family and friends that they never EVER have to go through this.
Am I mad? You better believe I am. All I was trying to do was to get pregnant and give Thom a child. He would've been such a wonderful father. I feel I've cheated him of that. It's not right and it's not fair. But I can't turn back time. I wish I could.
People call me their hero. I'm no hero. I didn't volunteer for this. I didn't ask for this. A hero in my eyes is someone who knowingly and willingly put their lives on the line for another. I am no such person.
And here I was, depressed that I turned 35 this year. Funny, now all I hope is that I make it to 36.
Life turns on a dime. My life has now been split into two major parts: BC (before cancer) and now. When I pick up a paper at work with a date on it, I think to myself, "That was 2 weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer. What was I thinking that day?" Probably something stupid or worthless. I was probably mad at somebody!
I remember everything about that day, April 25, 2007. What I had to eat, what I was wearing, what was playing on the TV in the Mammo waiting room. I still can't look at a panini sandwich without getting nauseous.
Tomorrow marks my one year anniversary with Athena. That year has flown by. I love working at Athena. I tell people that all the time. They look at me like I'm crazy (which I am, but that's another story!) I'm really glad to be there, I'm really glad to be here.
I got 3 cards today, I was so happy I did a little dance in the kitchen! One from my sister Lizz, one from my brother-in-law Jim (I love Vito!!!), and one from Denise, a very wonderful woman I worked with. Thank you for the cards, you made my day!
Anyways, I've babbled enough.
I will calling the doctor tomorrow to see when they want to do this biopsy of my hip. I'm gonna start punching someone if they don't start treatment soon. Grrr.
Much love,
E
I think working is one of my saving factors. People at work ask me why I'm there. I have to be. I can't stay at home and wallow, I just can't. I'm not that productive at work lately, but I'm glad to be there. Hell, I'm glad to be anywhere right now. People at work make me smile, make me laugh, and even make me mad. But most of all, they make me forget, for a short time anyways. When I'm at work, I almost feel normal (as normal as I'll ever be!)
But how easy it would be to not even get out of bed in the morning. So easy.
I have never prayed so hard in my life. Every night, I pray that I will be strong through all of this, that I will have faith that I will make it through this, I pray for all my family and friends that they never EVER have to go through this.
Am I mad? You better believe I am. All I was trying to do was to get pregnant and give Thom a child. He would've been such a wonderful father. I feel I've cheated him of that. It's not right and it's not fair. But I can't turn back time. I wish I could.
People call me their hero. I'm no hero. I didn't volunteer for this. I didn't ask for this. A hero in my eyes is someone who knowingly and willingly put their lives on the line for another. I am no such person.
And here I was, depressed that I turned 35 this year. Funny, now all I hope is that I make it to 36.
Life turns on a dime. My life has now been split into two major parts: BC (before cancer) and now. When I pick up a paper at work with a date on it, I think to myself, "That was 2 weeks before I was diagnosed with cancer. What was I thinking that day?" Probably something stupid or worthless. I was probably mad at somebody!
I remember everything about that day, April 25, 2007. What I had to eat, what I was wearing, what was playing on the TV in the Mammo waiting room. I still can't look at a panini sandwich without getting nauseous.
Tomorrow marks my one year anniversary with Athena. That year has flown by. I love working at Athena. I tell people that all the time. They look at me like I'm crazy (which I am, but that's another story!) I'm really glad to be there, I'm really glad to be here.
I got 3 cards today, I was so happy I did a little dance in the kitchen! One from my sister Lizz, one from my brother-in-law Jim (I love Vito!!!), and one from Denise, a very wonderful woman I worked with. Thank you for the cards, you made my day!
Anyways, I've babbled enough.
I will calling the doctor tomorrow to see when they want to do this biopsy of my hip. I'm gonna start punching someone if they don't start treatment soon. Grrr.
Much love,
E
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Blue Man Group
Just got back from our night out. We went to see the Blue Man Group at the Charles Playhouse in Boston. Man, what fun!! I had such a good time! Great show, I highly recommend it. Thom and I were in the front row! We had ponchos, but didn't get splashed with anything. :(
We went with the firefighters from Park Avenue Station and they were a hoot! John, thank you again for a great time!
Jerry, thank you for the laugh! I wish I could say I felt bad for the fleas, but I don't...they'll probably somehow find their new home with my dogs. Dammit!
Alida, thank you for your kind words, you wouldn't think I was so strong if you see my bawling my heart out sometimes. But I got to release it, then I feel better.
Well, it's past my bedtime. 'Till next time!
Much love,
E
We went with the firefighters from Park Avenue Station and they were a hoot! John, thank you again for a great time!
Jerry, thank you for the laugh! I wish I could say I felt bad for the fleas, but I don't...they'll probably somehow find their new home with my dogs. Dammit!
Alida, thank you for your kind words, you wouldn't think I was so strong if you see my bawling my heart out sometimes. But I got to release it, then I feel better.
Well, it's past my bedtime. 'Till next time!
Much love,
E
Friday, June 15, 2007
And the fun just keeps on coming...
You know, I'm really beginning to get annoyed. And this whole going to the doctor thing? Getting sick of it. Overrated. Everytime I go to the doctor, he tells me bad news. I need some good news to come my way. That day is not today.
Had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Silver from Dana Farber. He was supposed to receive all my films from UMass on TUESDAY of this week, so that he and his team could review them before he saw me, but he didn't get them until TODAY~FRIDAY! But he finally has all my films and reports in his possession, so my dealings with UMass are at an end. Thank goodness. Unfortunately, he was the only one who had time to look at them.
Apparently, this little cancer pain-in-the-ass of mine has spread further than he first anticipated. He saw some spots in my bones, mostly in my hips. He still wants to biopsy this, and now he thinks that they'll be able to get a sample from my hip bone easier than going into my lungs. If he got the films on Tuesday like he was supposed to, he could've scheduled the biopsy for today, but now, he won't be able to have the surgeons look at it until Monday, so the earliest they can schedule me for the biopsy is Tuesday or Wednesday. More waiting.
Interesting part is, the UMass doctor never mentioned anything about the PET Scan showing anything in my bones. He had told me that my bones were clean. I'm SO done with UMass.
Now, regardless of the fact that the cancer is now in my bones, the treatment regimen will remain the same: Hormone Therapy. He's positive due to the nature of the tumor, it will respond well to the hormone treatments. It's called Tamoxifen (sp?) and it's a pseudo-estrogen. Since estrogen is a fuel for my particular tumor, this hormone will bind to the receptor sites on the cancer cells. When the cancer cells try to absorb this hormone, thinking it is estrogen, it won't be able to and the theory is that the hormone will first stop the cancer cells from growing, and then the cancer cells will shrink. It's one pill a day, until it stops working, he said somewhere between 2-4 years. This will make me go through menopausal symptoms. Hot flashes, etc. When this stops working, there are other hormones he will give me, along with a shot that will tell my brain to stop my ovaries. Estrogen is the enemy.
I also saw a nutritionist today. I want to start eating foods that will boost my immune system and naturally try to slow this son-of-a-bitch down. Basically, I need to be eating 75% fruits and veggies, with only 25% of what I eat coming from animals (meat, eggs, milk etc.). I will be taking supplements also. Learned an interesting fact today, people in New England do not receive the needed amount of Vitamin D. So, if possible, spend 15 minutes a day in the sun (therein lies the problem, we don't get a lot of sun!) Vitamin D supplements are a good idea, taking at least 1,000 IUs (international units) a day. And, I have to exercise at least 1/2 hour a day. Walking is acceptable, which is what I plan on doing...man, the dogs are gonna love me... not that they already don't! :)
Anyways, that's the latest news. Yet another blow to "Team LeBrun", but we're just going to keep on trucking. My friend Shannon told me I have to get pissed at this, and I think I'm finally getting pissed. First I was sad, then I was in denial, then acceptance, then annoyed, now I'm pissed. I feel that my body has betrayed me, but then again, I never really respected my body like it deserves to be respected. If you ignore it, it will do what it has to do to get your attention. But for crying out loud, it could've gotten my attention in some other less than life-threatening way!! But this is what I have to work with, so here I go!
Much love to you all!
E
Had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Silver from Dana Farber. He was supposed to receive all my films from UMass on TUESDAY of this week, so that he and his team could review them before he saw me, but he didn't get them until TODAY~FRIDAY! But he finally has all my films and reports in his possession, so my dealings with UMass are at an end. Thank goodness. Unfortunately, he was the only one who had time to look at them.
Apparently, this little cancer pain-in-the-ass of mine has spread further than he first anticipated. He saw some spots in my bones, mostly in my hips. He still wants to biopsy this, and now he thinks that they'll be able to get a sample from my hip bone easier than going into my lungs. If he got the films on Tuesday like he was supposed to, he could've scheduled the biopsy for today, but now, he won't be able to have the surgeons look at it until Monday, so the earliest they can schedule me for the biopsy is Tuesday or Wednesday. More waiting.
Interesting part is, the UMass doctor never mentioned anything about the PET Scan showing anything in my bones. He had told me that my bones were clean. I'm SO done with UMass.
Now, regardless of the fact that the cancer is now in my bones, the treatment regimen will remain the same: Hormone Therapy. He's positive due to the nature of the tumor, it will respond well to the hormone treatments. It's called Tamoxifen (sp?) and it's a pseudo-estrogen. Since estrogen is a fuel for my particular tumor, this hormone will bind to the receptor sites on the cancer cells. When the cancer cells try to absorb this hormone, thinking it is estrogen, it won't be able to and the theory is that the hormone will first stop the cancer cells from growing, and then the cancer cells will shrink. It's one pill a day, until it stops working, he said somewhere between 2-4 years. This will make me go through menopausal symptoms. Hot flashes, etc. When this stops working, there are other hormones he will give me, along with a shot that will tell my brain to stop my ovaries. Estrogen is the enemy.
I also saw a nutritionist today. I want to start eating foods that will boost my immune system and naturally try to slow this son-of-a-bitch down. Basically, I need to be eating 75% fruits and veggies, with only 25% of what I eat coming from animals (meat, eggs, milk etc.). I will be taking supplements also. Learned an interesting fact today, people in New England do not receive the needed amount of Vitamin D. So, if possible, spend 15 minutes a day in the sun (therein lies the problem, we don't get a lot of sun!) Vitamin D supplements are a good idea, taking at least 1,000 IUs (international units) a day. And, I have to exercise at least 1/2 hour a day. Walking is acceptable, which is what I plan on doing...man, the dogs are gonna love me... not that they already don't! :)
Anyways, that's the latest news. Yet another blow to "Team LeBrun", but we're just going to keep on trucking. My friend Shannon told me I have to get pissed at this, and I think I'm finally getting pissed. First I was sad, then I was in denial, then acceptance, then annoyed, now I'm pissed. I feel that my body has betrayed me, but then again, I never really respected my body like it deserves to be respected. If you ignore it, it will do what it has to do to get your attention. But for crying out loud, it could've gotten my attention in some other less than life-threatening way!! But this is what I have to work with, so here I go!
Much love to you all!
E
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Test results
I got the results of the PET scan...not good. My lungs lit up light a Christmas tree, so the nodules in my lungs are metastatic cancer. A lymph node on my left side lit up too, but we knew that.
Even though I was expecting this, I'm still kind of numb right now.
Please keep those prayers and good thoughts coming my way, it's what's helping me get along.
With love,
E
Even though I was expecting this, I'm still kind of numb right now.
Please keep those prayers and good thoughts coming my way, it's what's helping me get along.
With love,
E
Saturday, June 9, 2007
It's all about the lungs
First off, I have not yet received the results from the PET Scan. Should hear about that on Monday.
Went to Dana Farber today. Let me tell you, I feel a lot more confident being in their care.
I brought all the films and reports I was able to get out of UMass. To say that I'm aggravated is an understatement. UMass has not been forthcoming with all my records and I found out that Dr. Silver from Dana Farber is missing some important films. So now he's going to get on the horn with UMass and get ALL my records.
Dr. Silver had his pathologists look at the films we had. Everything depends on what the nodules are in my lungs. He has a suspicion that they are cancerous, there are just too many of them. Life would've been a lot easier if they were not cancerous, but I've never done anything the easy way.
There are 2 scenarios:
1) If the nodules are NOT cancerous, they can cure me with surgery and chemotherapy and I can go on my merry little way.
2) If the nodules ARE cancerous, they cannot cure me, they can treat me with chemotherapy and hormone therapy and try to keep the cancer at bay as long as they can, he said something along the lines of years.
Dr. Silver wants to get his thoracic surgeons to get a biopsy of one of these lung nodules so that they know definitively what they are dealing with.
I have another appointment with Dr. Silver next Friday.
I wish I had more, but things are going to start moving faster and I am in very good hands. I have a lot more confidence being in Dana Farber's care.
Oh yes, I have decided not to go to Pennsylvania. The fact that Dr. Silver has never heard of this place doesn't instill a lot of confidence in me. Also, Dana Farber is ranked #5 as the best cancer hospital in the United States, so why would I go anywhere else? And lastly, I want to start treatment as soon as possible. So all those factors made me decide that I don't want to go anywhere else. And each time I hear this news, it's just like the first time. It doesn't get any easier.
I'm holding up pretty good. I'm trying so hard to remain optimistic. Thom and I are going to see the Blue Man Group next weekend with a group of firefighters (Hi John!!), so I'm looking forward to that! I've never seen the Blue Man Group, but I hear they're awesome!!
Thank you all for the cards and emails!
With love,
E
Went to Dana Farber today. Let me tell you, I feel a lot more confident being in their care.
I brought all the films and reports I was able to get out of UMass. To say that I'm aggravated is an understatement. UMass has not been forthcoming with all my records and I found out that Dr. Silver from Dana Farber is missing some important films. So now he's going to get on the horn with UMass and get ALL my records.
Dr. Silver had his pathologists look at the films we had. Everything depends on what the nodules are in my lungs. He has a suspicion that they are cancerous, there are just too many of them. Life would've been a lot easier if they were not cancerous, but I've never done anything the easy way.
There are 2 scenarios:
1) If the nodules are NOT cancerous, they can cure me with surgery and chemotherapy and I can go on my merry little way.
2) If the nodules ARE cancerous, they cannot cure me, they can treat me with chemotherapy and hormone therapy and try to keep the cancer at bay as long as they can, he said something along the lines of years.
Dr. Silver wants to get his thoracic surgeons to get a biopsy of one of these lung nodules so that they know definitively what they are dealing with.
I have another appointment with Dr. Silver next Friday.
I wish I had more, but things are going to start moving faster and I am in very good hands. I have a lot more confidence being in Dana Farber's care.
Oh yes, I have decided not to go to Pennsylvania. The fact that Dr. Silver has never heard of this place doesn't instill a lot of confidence in me. Also, Dana Farber is ranked #5 as the best cancer hospital in the United States, so why would I go anywhere else? And lastly, I want to start treatment as soon as possible. So all those factors made me decide that I don't want to go anywhere else. And each time I hear this news, it's just like the first time. It doesn't get any easier.
I'm holding up pretty good. I'm trying so hard to remain optimistic. Thom and I are going to see the Blue Man Group next weekend with a group of firefighters (Hi John!!), so I'm looking forward to that! I've never seen the Blue Man Group, but I hear they're awesome!!
Thank you all for the cards and emails!
With love,
E
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